just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
