No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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