3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've changed since you got that strap on
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize