look no pants
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize