SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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