I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
