She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
