Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I met the friendliest cop last night
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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