Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
