come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize