why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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