how can u be prego again
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
