i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
