the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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