all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
