And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
