there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
