There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
