The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
