How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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