Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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