I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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