I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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