My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize