so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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