He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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