He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
