i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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