shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
