garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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