I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
