Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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