I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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