I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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