So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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