I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
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yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
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I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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