I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
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We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
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just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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