Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
