I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
