sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
