i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
