He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
