she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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