fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i believe in u and ur pee
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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