He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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