I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
