redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
