You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
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