Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
