Plan B is the new Plan A
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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