Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Is it because I queefed?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
wow bdsm is so cute
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
