I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
