Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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