Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
