im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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