When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
