Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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