my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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